In awe

Out of the forest,
after the moon,
our skin met beneath your crested ceiling,
our breath and blood fogging the window,
that moment...

Far gone now is that time,
we said goodbye last night,
you too apathetic about life to make a stance,
me too desiring of true companionship to let myself be content with what you had to offer,
which when we broke it down, wasn't much.

So here I sit
my skin soft from a shower,
naked, truly,
reading and writing poetry
and wishing for a moment when a man will look at me with a twinkle in his eye,
one that doesn't mean sex,
but one that means love.

Eventually all secrets come to light, unless it is a secret shared only with yourself. I'm no good at them, never have been. Secrets create deep rifts the longer they are kept. I will not forgive secrets, but I will forgive mistakes in judgment presented to me with honesty, hell, I'll even forgive events that weren't mistakes but scenarios created by intrigue and passion...as long as it's not kept from me. I'm an above ground sort of gal. We're all human, and as long we all respect each other as such I'll let just about anything slide.

I recently learned the truth about a matter that occurred a couple years ago, a matter that I had accurately guessed at mind you, but the fact that this secret was kept from me, by two people I have loved for great periods of my life, has ripped me up a bit. I will not act out in anyway, even though I want to, but my heart hurts. I will never be able to trust a certain friend again, ever. She recently expressed to me how happy she was we are in each others lives again, I can honestly say I don't know if this will continue. As for the other person, it's only one more fucking count against him, one more reason to despise the fibers he is made of, one more hit against me, telling me five years of my life, my love, was built on illusion and fallacy.

This is why secrets are for cowards. I will live proudly every day knowing that I am an honest person living with integrity and respect. These people live in card houses not knowing when the winds will change and their realities will fall.