Giraffes are your nemesis. Men are mine. You gifted me with a weapon for the zombie apocalypse, I had an equally awesome gift planned for you.

a simple veil

A simple veil shrouds me from society. The clouds that have been overhead all week aren't helping. Tonight is Friday, and I have spent it hoping my phone would light up with an invitation for adventure. It's been a long while since I have declared myself stagnant enough to put my action in the hands of another. I am typically the rouser (apparently not a word, but I will pretend I am Shakespeare for the moment...) of my compatriots. It's a rare feeling to allow my fate to something that I know will not transpire. It's like a warm blanket and a bottomless pit all at once. A warm bottomless pit of blankets...? I think that I need to fill my time with something, but having no deadlines or rules to regulate me, I find myself researching things on the internet, like how LSD was the death of God, and how if you can solve a simple word problem that has no relevance in real life that somehow makes you smarter than others. The internet is a vast fount of ridiculous knowledge, and I am truly mesmerized.

The end...or is it the beginning?

Knowing oneself may be the single hardest thing to do in the world.

The power of writing

Oft times I find myself in a state of reflection, attempting to synthesize what's happened in my life, the lessons I should learn from those things, and what my journey may look like in the immediate future. At current, I'm struggling to make logical connections between these elements. I tend to become most reflective when alone, alone without a partner to allow me some purpose outside of myself.

I've recently been thinking of the human condition and what that looks like in different societies. As a person who makes an income that is well below the poverty line in the United States, but also a person of great luck in that I have few bills, I'm still living a comfortable life. My biggest worries are dealing with the emotional stress of a terminally ill father, and my personal struggle to find happiness. Admittedly the former issue is one that holds some gravity, but as I'm a person who accepts the process of living and dying, the greatest struggle is with how to get all the legalities dealt with while he's still around to answer questions. Truly not that earth-shattering of a hardship. The latter issue, in comparison to what others have to endure is trite. Here I am with all of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs met, and I'm so consumed with myself I struggle with emotional happiness. Seriously? My life is so fulfilled I must search for reasons to work on my happiness, I have the time to wonder aloud what I need to do to find this. Aren't there greater struggles in the world I should be putting my time and thoughts toward? Yes there are.

I love writing...here, the synthesis has happened. The lesson: how to have purpose outside of yourself and to not be so self absorbed. The journey: volunteer, get out of your own space and head, live for others whatever that means.